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| 11:21pm 06/04/2005 |
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come on guys. you should do it. |
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| 06:40pm 01/04/2005 |
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welcome, my friends, to the day of explosions like wombs bursting with the joy of warm blood. welcome to the pleasure of rubberband phenomenon lying naked and forgotten next to puddles of coagulated glue. welcome to the penny circus of freaks and invisible peanuts. welcome to the crotch of the world. welcome, welcome, welcome. to the ghosts of neverland with memories of us like saran wrapped fetuses in dirty toilets, in public restrooms, in green parks, in little cities, in lost states of mind and lost minds in foreign states of stasis. welcome to status quo. welcome, welcome, welcome. |
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| 11:07pm 22/03/2005 |
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mind floss for crooked camera angles.
lost time cost less then time spent with angels.
tell me about the triangle...
soul deranged to tangles, yellowed with rot
and lets not
pretend
this didn't ((all happen))
not occur
yet still laughing.
kerouac told me a secret last night lost in a car running from the cops with my friends and some are still imagined. "the circumstances of existence are pretty amazing." i figured it was just one of those herione things. just one of those drunk things. just one of those things, those lies, those stars in the sky that are real though only because we see them...not because we believe. i've taken an innumberable amount of uppers this evening as the rain hit like miniature atomic bombs. driving to god knows where, just to get away from god knows what. extended sense of reality. this is what i'm killing with pixelated heros smeared across a wall, a room, a george orwell nightmare. this is the demon screaming in my ear till my eyes bleed and i'm growing horns just like everyone else. i was born connected at the hip to a very fast and diseased habitat. do you know how hard it is to hate this?? i don't think you do. so when you question me and my jaded motives i'll tell you i'm choking on water, i'm starving in a grainery, i'm dead in the delivery room. |
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| 05:36pm 07/01/2005 |
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so it turns out i'm awesome. myspace supa star. fear. FEAR ME. FEAR.. FEA...REALLY. GOTON. FALL TO YOUR KNEES AND SUCK MY PENIIIISSSSSS |
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| 12:56am 04/01/2005 |
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see there was this knee that bent backwards
symbolizing my beliefs and standards
all very random
in the defines of my vocabulary
and in america
character carries you
further than truth and honesty
and honestly
the goddess i lost
left dog shit as idols in the office up top
talkin bout
ba-blah-tity-blah
move your body
robot
talk
shit shocks
when you sell your soul
and electricity
disfigures your whole
twisted wish of existence
"bitch make an 'o'"
but nope
ya don't find hope
written in orgasm and jism
so quit wit the criticism
just go at 'em
and get 'em
listen
i broke both my wrists
when jumping off my roof
and trying
to fly
we
as human beings
weren't meant for airtime
i can no longer write
and might commit suicide to night
and
if i do
i'll compose a greater existence
among the stars and planets
above the city lights
and cigarettes
i'll tell you all
the
future.
d.m. |
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| 02:29pm 03/12/2004 |
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this is a cry for help.
if you have ever lost the use of both hands...but mostly the left, please make small grunting noises and cry in your sleep.
if you have ever felt you can't truly wrap your head around ideas but they instead wrap themselves around you, controlling and contorting everything you once loved, or believed to be true and honest and good...please fall down and praise a phallic god riding a golden chariot pulled by white stallions across a rising sun that will never again set.
if you have failed to encompass and nurture what little free thought you have left but instead, crawled fetus like into the hand of bitchy mother just to forfeit your right to choose and make things better...
if you have fallen down and been stepped on by big brothers telling you love is not true...
if you have succumbed to the throws of violence believing you can fight fire with fire and destroy the makeshift shelters of our fucked up way of life...
if you have become everything you once hated in a previous life...
if, if, if...
if the moon never rises and the water is stuck in a pregnant night sky. you cannot flow. you cannot be. if you take drugs trying to supress thoughts of insanity thinking after every late night you would like nothing more than to find a can of pesticide and kill every thought your mind doesn't really think...if, if, if you are shit faced, reality tv abuser, smoker, nympho, under the thumb follower, attention craver, loner, loser, fuck up, white, a whiner, thumb sucker, romance nover reader masturbating in the tub with the lights of but the candles lit, sociopath, psycho, neurotic tweaker looking for a way, if you watch the matrix, read orwell or huxley believing yourself to be above the shit stains of humanity, talk in your sleep or dream...
you are not happy. you are not content. you are not alive. it is not safe to look. it is not safe to walk down the street at night nor go to the drugstore to purchase the petty addictions we are all slaves to.
only the ignorant are happy. only those content with survival. |
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| 07:27pm 29/10/2004 |
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i'm the best fucking person in the whole world
i just stole from savers.
i've figured it out. i'm a kleptomaniac. a compulsive stealer.
and a rapper.
fuck this ass please.
and josh got arrested for killing a nazi. it was tight. he is still in jail. i am sad.
one love.
daymare |
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| 10:32pm 13/09/2004 |
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hahahahahahahahahahahah. i'm getting wasted right NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| 12:59pm 16/06/2004 |
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the times would have me
night has fallen,
shattered some day-lit illusion.
the ghost of a cigarette lingers.
a tear anticipates gravity.
one by one
the stars have been blinked out and
covered up.
shunned away by a city
heavy with fear and dread
of the day’s recourse.
propped on an ancient pillow
i lie.
carefully unfolding each dream.
anxious for each fragile moment
i will
come to possess,
subsist upon,
only to fade away.
ashes and dust.
“ashes and dust,” you say to me.
ashes and dust for every memory.
every laugh. every tear.
ashes and dust for the images
i see
every night.
goddam ashes and goddam dust
for the face behind my eyes and soul
within my heart.
ashes for the petals
long since claimed by the dust.
a noble birthright
the times would gladly accept.
take these away.
my flushed face,
too soft hands.
long allegories, shaped to roads.
every fucking street sign.
all the tears.
the thousand golden hairs.
the emerald irises so soundly fit.
the beauty of perfection, found only in the dreams
the night has given me.
burdened with the ambivalence of our moments
so true and
so false. |
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| 11:58am 09/06/2004 |
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i want you all to know that i am posting from my new laptop, that fucking rocks. so...yeah. see ya later. good luck with 12 more years of school. read something depressing. then read the tao te ching. love, jesse |
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| 10:27am 18/05/2004 |
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for everyone who cares to read:
i will never again
1-drink
2-smoke
marijuana
cigarettes
any other smoking thing
3-abuse any substance
or become a habitual user.
i am done with all that shit. |
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| 01:56pm 10/05/2004 |
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so, i woke up and i showered, then dressed, then went to school. i walked around, all the way to fukcing second period before i found out i have a hole in my fucking boxers. i guess i have josh and rafael to thank for that. lol. |
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| 01:20pm 04/05/2004 |
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i am applying for a writing job in italy. it is a magazine called colors. i hope i get it, then i will get with all these europeans bitches, and i will be like "shave your pitts you dog-bitch." and they will laugh and take off their shirts cuz they wont know what the fuck i am talking about.
k
peace. |
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| 09:51am 30/04/2004 |
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josh!! come to ms. nackos' class after school |
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| 01:34pm 29/04/2004 |
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mood: decided music: jimi hendrix, born under a bad sign
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i just bought a new cd today. it is jimi hendrix, blues. it is the most amazing set of songs that i have ever heard. mr. hendrix can do things on the guitar that have never been done and will never be done again. i am unworthy.
and you know what i realized? all this crap with the new hard core bands and mediocre rock and all that other bullshit like radiohead, they will never last. it doesn't matter how good you are, they wont last. the only ones to live on will be led zeppelin, jimi hendrix, the beatles, nirvana...and maybe pearl jam. if they are lucky. i think that original rap bands may become legends. i am sure that rap will live on. something about the beats in blues and rap and good rock. original rock. you cant deny a beat like that.
i'm going to concentrate on playing blues so much that i can be good and remembered. other guitar forms pale in comparison. maybe spanish guitar,too. like flamenco. but those original scales, the mix of rock and blues and just a hint of southern or even gypsy guitar...they will never die. |
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| 02:05pm 23/04/2004 |
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GET YOUR MURRAY HIGH SCHOOL LITERARY MAGAZINE TODAY!!!!
THAT'S RIGHT!!!
I KNOW YOU WANT ONE!!!
YES! JUST GIVE 10 DOLLARS TO YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD LIT-MAG-ER JESSE! AND GET YOUR LIT MAG TODAY......
...
COME ON!!!
DO IT! |
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| 04:24pm 21/04/2004 |
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jesse.................................shelley...........................................................jesse.......................................................shelley...................................................jesse..............................................shelley.
yes. thank you folks. folds. chodes. hahah.
anyway. i will soon reach a point.
GET YOUR MURRAY HIGH SCHOOL LITERARY MAGAZINE TODAY!!!!
THAT'S RIGHT!!!
I KNOW YOU WANT ONE!!!
YES! JUST GIVE 10 DOLLARS TO YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD LIT-MAG-ER JESSE! AND GET YOUR LIT MAG TODAY......
...
COME ON!!!
DO IT! |
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| 10:28am 19/04/2004 |
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POETRY SLAM
MAY 21st
7:00 PM
BE THERE
OR
BE STUPID!!!!
MURRAY BARNES AND NOBLE
5300 S STATE ST. |
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Read 7 - Post |
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| 10:27am 19/04/2004 |
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POETRY SLAM
MAY 21st
7:00 PM
BE THERE
OR
BE STUPID!!!! |
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